Friday, February 13, 2009

Finger Lickin' Gold

Colonel Sanders' handwritten recipe for fried chicken was back in its Kentucky this week after five months in hiding while KFC upgraded security around its top corporate secret.
Call Homeland Security the Colonels secret recipe is being transported! Detainees fought guards and broke through the maze of maximum security at Gitmo in droves upon hearing that the secret recipe may be in a compromising position. “I pray with all my might to Allah that he gives me the wisdom and strength to capture the 11 herbs and spices”.

We can all sleep all sleep easy knowing the Colonel’s original recipe was returned from an undisclosed location to KFC's headquarters in a lockbox handcuffed to the wrist of a security consultant. The poor security consultant has to go home and recap his exciting day with the wife. “How was work today honey? Did you work with the CIA, FBI, or Homeland Security on critical issues of national security?” “Not quite, I was handcuffed to the Colonel’s original recipe as I drove to Kentucky”. “What?? Mother always told me you were freaking LOSER”

The Colonel? That’s an interesting name isn’t it? Did he have a military background? Thanks for asking it turns out he did. What are his military credentials? Bronze star? Purple heart?…..Head cook at the Commissary? It turns out he was in the Army but only achieved the rank of Private. You shouldn’t being calling yourself a Colonel when you’re just a Private, that’s not right. I like to golf but I’m not running around calling myself Tiger.

And the KFC slogan: Finger lickin’ good- Don’t encourage this type of behavior it’s not very sanitary. And if you are so compelled to lick your fingers please wash-up first. KFC may be the only business in the world that can get away with this slogan: Finger lickin’ good. This slogan could never be used in the medical community. “Hi Dr. Jeff Martin your favorite Gynecologist at Martin and Associates. Ladies be sure to schedule your yearly pap smear and remember “We’re finger lickin’ good!”

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