Monday, August 16, 2010


Seth MacFarlane- He’s got a real mind for animation, face for radio, and voice for silent films

Lisa Lampanelli - I saw her at the gym the other day doing squats, Snoop Dog and his entourage fell out of her

Gilbert Gottfried – He’s Paul Ruebens without the masturbation rap. With those squinty eyes Pam Anderson could blindfold him with her pubes if she still had any

Pam Anderson –Brett Michaels, Tommy Lee, Kid Rock. She’s banged so many tone deaf musicians the sex videos are available in closed captioning

Jerry Springer - Is to TV, what herpes is to genitalia

Hulk Hogan- He looks like my Aunt Louise; except she’s less feminine, has a fuller moustache, and athletic ability

Jeff Ross- For once I wish they would roast Jeff Ross, and it was 1939, and this was Germany

Whitney Cummings-Her jokes never have a punch line, she’s Dana Cook

George Hamilton -He no longer speaks with his ex-wives or daughters, but has a great relationship with the sun.

Greg Giraldo-The only other thing whiter than him to originate from Columbia is cocaine

David Hasselhoff – Hurry look in KITT’s trunk! That’s where you’ll find the only tune Hasselhoff can carry