Thursday, April 19, 2007

We’re Going to Disneyworld (Part I)

After much nagging I reluctantly decided to go..

Our first mistake was booking the flight through US Air, which should be called US Scare. I knew we were in trouble when the guy at the terminal mumbled “How much luggage you checkin’?” I said “five suitcases”, he then said to his co-workers “We got three here!”, I added “Excuse me, I said five”, he fired back “Scuse me, what you think I can’t hear or are you sayin’ I’m stupid?” I said “No, I just wanted to make sure all our bags make it onto the plane” He then looked at his co-workers, then back to me,, then back to them and said “Listen to this racist mutha-effer, he thinks were going steal his sorry-ass bags, know what I’m sayin?”. I had no idea what he was saying but his co-workers were locked in to every word.

We made our way to Terminal C only to realize our flight had been pushed back two hours. To be stuck in an airport terminal with a spoiled little brat for two hours in no fun. Then when you add in her two kids it really sucks. “I’m hungry”… But, we just ate. “I’m tired” You just woke up two hours ago. “I have to go to the bathroom” I just took you twenty minutes ago.

The experience of a boarding a plane is nothing less than excruciating since 9/11. It is bad enough the twenty or so times I’ve taken flights for meetings. But when you have family in tow things are much worse. The line for security snaked around the dangling red valor rope fence for a about fifty yards or so. Even though our flight was delayed two hours it was still morning. This means half the people in line were business travelers headed to Orlando for work and the other half were families headed to Disney for fun.

Besides the obvious, that being the kids surrounding the parents, there were other ways you could distinguish the Disney people from the business people. The Disney people were ear to ear smiles kids and parents alike. A week away from the drudgery of work should make anyone smile. I don’t necessarily have to be headed to Disney for that to happen

I could feel the sneers being cast upon the Disney families by the business people. I wasn’t sure if they were pissed about us going on vacation or just pissed that the line was so long because there were so many damned kids. Either way, they were pissed.

Forty minutes later we all put our shoes back on and boarded the plane.

Because I booked with the cheapest online fifth rate travel agent I could find; the four of us sat in three different aisles. My son and daughter were together two aisles ahead of me. My wife was three aisles behind me.

On most of the business trips I’ve taken people in the seats next to me are too busy either sleeping, punching something up in their laptops on have their face buried in the Wall Street Journal to chat. They are not interested in conversations nor am I. I can’t ever recall exchanging two words with a fellow passenger…

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