Monday, December 11, 2006

Thumbnails of Holiday Movie Releases

Apocalypto- Mel Gibson's ancient Mayan adventure. In limited release, limited to everywhere outside of Israel.

Black Christmas- Sorority sisters are hunted for the holidays. That’s sucks to be hunted and all, but I just want to know if they are naked.

Blood Diamond- Leonardo DiCaprio is an African jewel smuggler or Neil Diamond's attempted initiation into an infamous LA street gang

Eragon-A year in the life of Senator Ted Kennedy, title is derived from Kennedy’s catch phrase to bar patrons as happy hour ends

The Good Shepherd- With Angelina Jolie and Matt Damon. You know Damon got oral in the trailer at some point…. from Affleck.

The Holiday- Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet switch houses and find love…please God let it be with each other.

The Nativity Story - The birth of Jesus from Mary's point-of-view. The girl who played the virgin Mary is pregnant in real life….I hate when that happens.

Night at the Museum- History comes to life and attacks Ben Stiller. I liked it better eleven years ago when it was called Jumanji.

The Pursuit of Happyness - Starring Will Smith and son. It’ exactly like “Good Will Smith Hunting” but darker.

Turistas -Americans tourists learn they're not welcome in a foreign land. Just the opposite of illegal immigrants in America.

Unaccompanied Minors -Six kids alone in an airport. Michael Jackson reportedly paid six million dollars for an advanced screening.

Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj- Kal Penn's back in school. They had to prove they could make a movie that sucked worse than the first Van Wilder. Mission accomplished.

Rocky Balboa -Sylvester Stallone is the Italian Stallion once again, out of retirement for one last fight….with arthritis and a disputed Medicare bill

Dreamgirls- A musical about a soul trio starring Beyonce Knowles, Eddie Murphy and Jamie Foxx.. Clay Aiken has no interest in seeing it, but Rosie does.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you actually think any of this is funny?

Will Teullive said...

Not as funny as a guy from Singapore who Googles pictures of Cameron Diaz so he can rub one out before bed.

I do actually think that is funny!