Monday, December 11, 2006

Thumbnails of Holiday Movie Releases

Apocalypto- Mel Gibson's ancient Mayan adventure. In limited release, limited to everywhere outside of Israel.

Black Christmas- Sorority sisters are hunted for the holidays. That’s sucks to be hunted and all, but I just want to know if they are naked.

Blood Diamond- Leonardo DiCaprio is an African jewel smuggler or Neil Diamond's attempted initiation into an infamous LA street gang

Eragon-A year in the life of Senator Ted Kennedy, title is derived from Kennedy’s catch phrase to bar patrons as happy hour ends

The Good Shepherd- With Angelina Jolie and Matt Damon. You know Damon got oral in the trailer at some point…. from Affleck.

The Holiday- Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet switch houses and find love…please God let it be with each other.

The Nativity Story - The birth of Jesus from Mary's point-of-view. The girl who played the virgin Mary is pregnant in real life….I hate when that happens.

Night at the Museum- History comes to life and attacks Ben Stiller. I liked it better eleven years ago when it was called Jumanji.

The Pursuit of Happyness - Starring Will Smith and son. It’ exactly like “Good Will Smith Hunting” but darker.

Turistas -Americans tourists learn they're not welcome in a foreign land. Just the opposite of illegal immigrants in America.

Unaccompanied Minors -Six kids alone in an airport. Michael Jackson reportedly paid six million dollars for an advanced screening.

Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj- Kal Penn's back in school. They had to prove they could make a movie that sucked worse than the first Van Wilder. Mission accomplished.

Rocky Balboa -Sylvester Stallone is the Italian Stallion once again, out of retirement for one last fight….with arthritis and a disputed Medicare bill

Dreamgirls- A musical about a soul trio starring Beyonce Knowles, Eddie Murphy and Jamie Foxx.. Clay Aiken has no interest in seeing it, but Rosie does.


Anonymous said...

Do you actually think any of this is funny?

Will Teullive said...

Not as funny as a guy from Singapore who Googles pictures of Cameron Diaz so he can rub one out before bed.

I do actually think that is funny!