Thursday, October 05, 2006

Paging Former Congressman Mark Foley

Mark Foley stood beside President Bush as he signed legislation to enact tougher federal laws against child predators. Good thing for Bush, Foley didn’t stand behind him, he might have a more confused look on his face than usual.

From my ‘No Shit’ file here is a little news flash: “Washington DC is not a safe place for young people.” If you don’t believe me just ask Monica Lewinsky, or the kid who is the designated driver for Ted Kennedy.

The political arena is nothing more than a cesspool of people with power and influence who will say anything or do anything to get re-elected and Washington acts as the landfill where all the shit mixes together to emit the stank that is American politics.

In public they preach about morals and family values, but their private their lives could fill the whole season of HBO’s ‘Real Sex’. Any parent who lets their kid go to Washington to be an intern, page, or anything else should have their heads examined, and if the parents are hot enough they may just get a politician to do the examination.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and there is a whole lot of Absolut flowing in D.C.. Holy shit did I just write that? Does anybody remember California Congressman Gary Condit and his intern/girlfriend Chandra Levy; who was kidnapped and murdered? The married Condit got more side-ass than all the Rolling Stones combined during the ‘Some Girls’ tour in ’78. The Levy murder has yet to be solved.

Look at the Catholic priest molestation scandal and cover-up, Clinton-Lewinsky, McGreevey and his boyfriend/ Homeland Security advisor, and now Mark Foley. Foley is now a former congressman with a lot of free time and a sticky keyboard.

Does Microsoft have an emoticon for “Never IM me again you sick middle-aged bastard” yet? Maybe a red X covering a guy in a trench coat?

Foley was a member of the House, whose career was ruined because he wanted details about the member of a teenage page from his house. The House leader from the Republican Party knew about this and still did nothing.

Foley’s lawyer tried to defend him by first saying he’s an alcoholic. I don’t care how many Cosmopolitans he downs, it’s no excuse. Then the lawyer said Foley is gay, another revelation from the ‘No Shit’ file. He was also molested as a teenager by clergy, he will have to take a number and get in line with that last excuse. Next the lawyer will blame Dell for selling Foley the computer. Let’s blame everyone but the predator himself, and lawyers wonder why they are so hated.

A final note to parents: Don’t send your kids to Washington to work a summer job. They can get the same experiences in Las Vegas, Rio, or Key West, with people their own age without all the politics getting in the way.

1 comment:

Herbie Popsfarter said...

Well said!

I recently saw a billboard here in Dallas that said: "Vote Republican... For Your Family's Sake"

If it wasn't true, it'd actually be funny!