Thursday, October 12, 2006

Paris, you be North Korea: Nicole, you be South Korea

Over in North Korea Kim Jong "Licensed to" Il is over compensating for his shortcomings by playing nuclear dungeons and dragons. Iraq is the brink of civil war between the the Shiites, the Sunis, the Kurds, the Turds, the Trogs and some IED carrying jag-off named Omar who hates everything about the West except his new 80GB iPod. Meanwhile back here in the good ole' US of A it’s getting difficult to distinguish between a member of Congress and a member of NAMBLA.

Despite all the despair in the rest of the world I couldn’t be more excited that my two favorite Hollywood Hos are best friends forever again; Paris and Nicole. Their eighteen month feud just seemed like forever to me.

They met for dinner at Dan Tana’s Steakhouse in LA last week. This must have really screwed up the paparazzi. The last place they would expect to find these two dim-witted stick figures is at a steak house. Saladworks, sure, Taco Bell, alright, but a steakhouse? I heard the meal went really well, they not only ate off each other’s plate, but had a nice simultaneous bulimic after dinner purge in the ladies room just for old time sake. That's hot.

The public never really found out what the big feud was about. I’m betting it was an argument over shoes or the merits of wave-particle duality. Someone please tell Bob Woodward to leave Bush alone and get to the bottom of this already!

If these two can patch up their complex and multi-layered differences maybe world peace is a real possibility after all.

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