Friday, August 19, 2005

Wedding Shower

The first year of marriage is a living hell. I mean everything is different, at home anyway. At work things are the same and in fact you start to appreciate work a lot more. You struggle just to get to Sunday. On Sunday it’s time to kick back, have a few beers and watch some football. It’s just then when she says don’t you remember I told you about the wedding shower for today. I said okay honey have a good time. She says it’s a "Jack and Jill" shower. I think "Why is she telling me the name of the couple, I don’t care?". She says "No that means couples go together". What! Who is the male version of Martha Stewart who first accepted this brilliant premise. He ruined it for the rest of us red meat lovers.

If my wife ever wanted to have a jack and jill shower, I would have been like sure, right after you dance at my bachelor party. Just what I need for a Sunday in late Sept. “Look at the lovely table setting Mary got, Wow!! a cappuccino maker we should get one of those. My wife’s got her mind on China patterns and I got my mind on pass patterns. I said No way I am not going to this thing, she said if you love me you will go, I said if you love me you will go away, fast!! She starts crying, next thing I know I am at the receiving end of a flowery chiffon spice rack being passed around.

At the same time I am listening to the game on the walkman. My cheers for the game correspond nicely to the gift opening, the woman are like he is really into wedding showers and I wind up spiking an art deco vase after a touchdown. Hopefully, that’s the last shower I’ll be invited to.

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