When we were teenagers, they had the spice channel for your “almost porn viewing pleasure.” The spice channel was always scrambled in my house, and I would try to squint and see what i thought was a Tit. You would sit for hours and hours just trying to catch a glimpse of anything.
I became a Contortionist the way I would twist and stretch. I would move my head to the left and to the right. I was doing the Jane Fonda workout and not even knowing it. I would go to school the next day all twisted up, neck was in a brace.
I would see my friends in the hallway at school; they would look at me and laugh. "Checking out the spice channel again you little perverted bastard?". Meanwhile, the guy who is breaking my balls has his right hand in a sling; he was diagnosed with the first nationally known case of masturbatory carpal tunnel syndrome.
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