Saturday, August 20, 2005

Three good occupations for lazy people

Co-Pilots- Talk about lazy. This guy never works and gets to fly and drink for free. The only way he ever works is if the pilot passes out. Since they are usually drinking together on the plane anyway, the co-pilot just has to make sure he drinks more than the pilot. This way when the pilot says “I am really F’d up” The co-pilot can say “Dude, I drank way more than you, there’s no way I can fly this bitch tonight.

TV anchor people- Talk about an over valued job. These people have no special talent. They are just readers for god sakes. Just like you and me and 98% of the country. The anchorman reads while setting down and so do I. The only difference, I do most of my reading on the can while dropping a deuce and that ass-clown is in a comfy chair in an air-conditioned studio and copping some nice coin to boot. They are lazy as hell too, they don't move from the chair the whole time. At least the weather guy is up and moving around. He is pointing out storm fronts and barometric pressure and using his arms while doing it. He picks up magnetic clouds and shifts them from place to place on that big-ass weather map. By the end of the weather report this poor guy is looking for oxygen. He then throws it back Captain Slacker, who sends us into a commercial.

Librarians- They may even be lazier than anchor people because we think these broads are always reading but do we really know for sure? They sit there behind the big desk with the Lisa Loeb glasses occasionally peering up only to offer a half-assed "ssshhh" warning to the patrons; who are already more quiet than the gallery at the 18th hole at Augusta. Why do you need complete silence at a library? I'll tell you why? So these lazy librarians can get back to sleep. That's why.

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