Sunday, January 14, 2007

If it Really was Football Somebody Would Care

David Beckham is set to become the second highest-paid athlete in United States after signing a five-year contract worth up to $250 million with Major League Soccer team Los Angeles Galaxy.

Who new LA had a soccer team? Better yet, who new there was a professional soccer league in America? And who the hell in America is going to give a rat’s ass about David Beckham?

He is a thirty-four year old soccer player he should be playing in a senior league by now. Beckham is married to Posh Spice, she is the one Eddie Murphy didn’t knock up, I think?

Beckham and Posh are hoping to maintain celebrity status long after his soccer days are over. They are two good looking people with no discernable talents other than his fading soccer skills and her lip-synching talent. Like a Britney and K-Fed, if Federline played soccer and Posh was fat.

The problem is LA is already over-loaded with even better looking people with less discernable talents trying to get noticed. In fact, on the Richter scale of good looking people in LA, Becks and Posh aren’t posting any aftershocks.

The allegiance with Tom-Kat is already creeping people out. Be careful Becks, Tom might get his non-medicated little hands on some of that cash. Can you say “David Beckham Scientology Sports Center”??

Your post soccer days will be spent teaching the Travolta kids how to properly corner kick while dodging Kirstie Alley sexual advances.

Beckham’s soccer alone won’t get him noticed in America unless he kills somebody on the field. Even then it will be buried underneath the high school baseball scores in the last page of the sport section.

We don’t care about soccer and we have less patience for celebrities with no talent. If you don’t believe me just ask Paris Hilton, K-Fed, or Ryan Seacrest.

In order for us to truly care about Becks and Posh there has to be more than there is right now. A fight with Rosie or Trump, rehab for Vicodin , a throw down with the Paparazzi.

Maybe a taped threesome with any of the following: Pam Anderson, Paris Hilton, or Clay Aiken would greatly help advance your celebrity status?

Soccer alone ain’t going to do it.

1 comment:

Willy B. Good said...

I think a Posh, Pamela, Paris three some is a great idea that would almost get me interested in soccer and a Spice Girls reunion
cheers Willy
ps- Dave's only 31 but acts 34