Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Uptown Girl Headed for Midtown Divorce

Can we NOT USE the prefix “model” when writing or discussing Christie Brinkley? She’s fifty-two, she used to model in bikinis and sexy underwear like thirty years ago.

Don't get me wrong, she is still a MILF, but I haven't gotten any in so long Rosie O'Donnell is starting to look real MILF-like too.

Does she have any hobbies besides divorce? Can we call her “Animal Rights Activist” Christie Brinkley, or “Day Trader” Christie Brinkley. I’ve seen her in infomercials with Chuck Norris, so couldn’t we call her “Spokesperson for some useless workout shit sold late at night” Christie Brinkley. Unless she is modeling in Depends or denture cream the expiration date is up on the model moniker.

This is the fourth marriage down the tubes for Christie. She was previously married to Frenchman Jean-Francois Allaux, singer Billy Joel, developer Richard Taubman, and now architect Peter Cook. Did Christie drive Billy Joel to drink? Did Billy drive into the trees while thinking of Christie? These are questions that need answers people.

Diana Bianchi; a 19-year-old reveals that she and Cook had a yearlong affair. She told the New York Post that Cook, 47, met her at a toy store, hired her as an assistant at his firm and seduced her with gifts. At first given her age I thought she was shopping at the toy store for Barbie’s or something, but apparently she was an employee.

Bianchi also told Fox 5 News in New York that she knew he was married but things just "escalated."

He bought her a Cadillac Escalated? Sweet.

Bianchi's attorney, Joseph Tacopina, claimed that she will be a "vital witness" should the couple pursue divorce.

Tacopina told The Associated Press that Cook "first lured this girl into his web by employing her ... and then showering her with gifts." He described their relationship as consensual, but claimed Cook's role as employer and his gifts of a car, money and jewelry could possibly constitute sexual harassment.

If gifts, cars, and money are considered sexual harassment, I want my wife to show up early to work to start getting sexually harassed. Maybe she could even work overtime or weekends. I need a new car and a Rolex. Cash works real nice too.

I think this thing is a big misunderstanding. Cook brought Bianchi to work on “Take Your Daughter to Work Day”. Peter misunderstood the concept, he thought he had to take somebody else’s daughter to work, namely Mr. Bianchi's daughter. It’s an honest mistake

"Being put in the position that (Cook) put her in, which was to be financially dependent on him ... as long as she provided sex — that's the relationship that the law frowns upon when you're an employer and an employee." Tacopina said he had no immediate plans for a law suit.

Not immediate plans for a lawsuit? Sure, he needs to get back to the office first, then the lawsuit. He will take his time getting to the office (go for haircut, stop for lunch) that is why plans aren’t immediate.

More original programming for Court TV is on the way…

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