Friday, May 19, 2006

Next It’s Daycare at Neverland with Uncle Michael

I think little Sean Preston’s first words are going to be “Please mommy just go on your 'Lipsync '07' tour already so the nanny can take of me!” On Thursday Britney stumbled outside the Ritz-Carlton in Manhattan with the little tyke in one hand and a drink in the other.

Sean Preston almost hit the sidewalk but Jack Daniels remained unscathed. I bet her Pa is real proud of her.

It’s been a bad week for Britney. Just a few days ago she was photographed driving with Sean Preston in a car seat facing forward rather than facing backward, in a convertible on a sunny day.

Britney was visited by a sheriff's deputy at her home in Malibu, Calif., last month after Sean Preston slipped from his nanny's arms as she was lifting him from a high chair and something in the chair snapped. That place in Malibu has got to be a double-wide on wheels, right? "Get Er Done!"

In February authorities visited Spears' home after photos showed the singer in a car with her son in her lap, instead of being strapped to a car seat in the back seat. She first blamed pursuits by the paparazzi, but later said it was her Pa's fault; "Daddy wants my boy to win Talladega one day real bad, weeze just gettin' a head start, y'all need to chill."

Do you notice how Kevin Federline is never around when any of this goes down? He’s too busy doing nothing. Nothing is time consuming. He's spending the majority of his time sleeping in, and what’s left is used to produce un-listenable hip-hop.

Neither Britney nor Kept-Fed are going to win a round of Jeopardy anytime soon. But at least she has a marketable skill, and no it’s not daycare. Federline, on the other had seems to have no marketable skills besides being a human sponge.

He hit the jackpot when he married Britney, and unlike that other goober she married he’s going to get paid big before he fades away. I remember an interview with Federline right after the wedding he was asked if he had a pre-nup. He said “Hell NO, I’m fully circumcised!”

Poor Jason "not Constanza" Alexander. He went to Vegas… got married, had wild sex all night with Britney then got divorce papers pushed in his face the next day courtesy of Britney’s mom and her team of lawyers. Jason never even got the chance have Britney pay for his studio time to cut that country music demo.

And now Britney is pregnant again. How is she going to juggle two infants? Probably blindfolded with one arm tied behind her back and thong showing.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

K-fed is too stoned to help out