Monday, April 17, 2006

I’d Rather They Just Probe Uranus Free of Charge

NASA plans to crash a space probe into the moon in 2009 ; a collision so violent it will be visible on Earth through a telescope.

NASA scientists say the collision should excavate a hole about a third the size of a football field and hurl a plume of debris into space. After the crash of the space probe, the mothership that released it will fly through the plume and look for traces of water ice or vapor _ similar to NASA's Deep Impact mission last July, which blasted into a comet.

If you want a collision so bad, just have President Nucular read a chapter from James Joyce’s Ulysses before the next state of the union address. I can promise you a train wreck in prime time on all the major networks.

The entire mission will cost more than $600 million. Nope…That’s not a misprint. $600 million just to find water ice. Good thing their not looking an ice cappuccino that could cost a billion or so.

If I remember right from my 5th grade earth sciences class the world is 2/3 covered with water? Right? Surely some of it has to be all iced up. Can’t NASA just hang out in in the North Pole for awhile and scooped up a few yards of soil to study. Santa can be bought, everyone has their price. They can probe Antarctica or even Aunt Sally for all I care. Keep the exploration earthbound and we should be able to save a few dollars.

Here’s an idea, it might be a little bit out there, but what the hell here goes…
How about putting that $600 million into a functional health care plan, this way I don’t need to take a small loan for my co-pay the next time I get checked for a hernia? The doctor only grabs my beanbag and asks me to cough, but the insurance company kicks me square in the nuts and asks for blood.

This moon crash debacle is part of a larger mission that includes a lunar orbiter, the mission's purpose is really just a quest for ice. Water is the key ingredient for supporting future human outposts on the moon, a goal of the Bush administration.

The last time the Bush administration started a quest it had nothing to do with ice. If this “quest for ice” is anything like the “search for weapons of mass destruction” the tab is going bigger than $600 million.

Frankly, I wish the Bush administration would stop having anymore goals. Any goal that’s been attempted thus far has backfired like the exhaust on my ’76 Ford Pinto.

Just ride out the last two years quietly without any sudden moves, quests, probes, leaks,or crashes.

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