Friday, August 19, 2005

Blind Date

My wife and I met on a blind date (yes I have no game), but she is really a beautiful women. I always remind her that right before the date I was told she was short, fat, and drove a pickup truck, but I still went out with her. She said "Oh yeah, she was told that I was tall, rich, and well-hung and here it is 6 years later and we are still married."

My best friend Tommy is pushing 40 and has never been married. so I asked my wife if she can fix him up with any of her friends at work. She would bring pictures home for Tommy to look at. She showed the first picture, Tommy said “Look at her hair, it’s a freaking rats nest” “I can’t be seen with her” Meanwhile he’s got a comb-over so long the NY search and rescue can use it to pull a family from the Hudson.

She shows him a picture of another woman and Tommy says “What is she like two bills?” I can’t be seen with her, as he rests the Budweiser tall boy on that continental shelf he calls a stomach.

She pull out a different picture, Tommy says “Look at the way this bitch dresses” “I can’t be seen with her”, as he scratches his gut through his Motley Crue “Theater of Pain” T-Shirt from the ’85 tour. I say pull your Levi Corduroys your ass cleavage is blinding us.

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