Some Rejected Hallmark Greeting Cards

GET WELL SOON
Front: Hope you get well soon so and make a speedy recovery.
Inside: We warned you about using a doctor who makes you undress for an eye-exam.

ANNIVERSARY
Front: Happy anniversary to my darling and beloved wife .
Inside: If you went down half as much as my mutual funds, I’d be a happy man.”

Front: Sweetheart …For our anniversary this year I want to introduce my weapon of mass destruction.
Inside: To your bush administration.

BIRTHDAY
Front: You look as good today as the first time I saw you naked.
Inside: Maybe its good we only met last week.

PROMOTION
Front: Congratulations on you’re promotion!
Inside: Now take your lips off the boss’s ass so I can buy you a drink!

MISSING YOU
Front: Thinking off you and wishing you were here
Inside: with your best friend Veronica topless in thongs and making out.